Aah, it's been too long.

I'm back baby! After a full summer vacation, hamlet rehearsals and a bit of 8th grade, I'm back on the blog! Except I cant think of anything funny to say. Umm... uh.. hmm... the cake is a lie? Well, that was much ado about nothing. Jeez! I am making Shakespeare jokes all the time now that I'm in the master drama class! There's the whole thing about Shakespearian slang for va-j-j (which is nothing. watch hamlet and you'll get it), and also the Othello rap which I did not perform in front of the school. So many people were disappointed. Especially Carter, Isreal and I. We worked for a whole morning and recess on that!! That was a lot of work!! But.. now we, and my buddy Dante, who I previously worked with on Clouds are God's Sneezes!, a blog about life, the universe, and the internet, are going to do Free Radicals by the Flaming Lips for a talent show! WOO! You can listen to the song here:http://www.playlist.com/playlist/additem/572295697

I'm back in the game!!!!

Sorry I haven't been posted for a long long time, I had no material.

But now I do!!!
Yesterday, I was in the car with my Dad, and while he was talking to the attendant at the gas station, an.... interesting ad came on the radio. It went something like this:
"A scraped knee. Bad dreams. A bully's words. Some things a mother's kiss can heal instantly.

"But epilepsy is not one of them. If your child is 24 months or younger, and taking more than one anti-epileptic drug, then they may be compatible for a free scientific study! We will give them a liquid drug or a placebo...." yadda yadda yadda.
Basically, what they're saying is, "If your 2 year old has epilepsy, then we'll experiment on it! To heck with it's life, it's for science!!"
GIVING CHILDREN MEDICINE ON TOP OF WHAT THEY ALREADY TAKE IS WRONG. Even if it is for a "scientific study". Stupid scientists, they still think that digital watches are amazing. Pish.

Meh.

Meh. Meh! Why is it so fun to say meh?! My friend Ari says it all the time (quote Ari: Enguh!)
Let's just say that's a subspecies of meh. But anyway, meh is a good release word for me. There's a shirt that says meh. Meh is everywhere.

Meh. Meh, meh, meh!

If you don't know how to pronounce meh, its like "me", but with a heh sound at the end. Not "meheh", but meh.

and, of course, the famous Meep.by Beaker.
Oh, poor beaky. You always did light yourself on fire. Poor, poor beaky.

The Axis of Awesome

I was surfing the interwebs yesterday, and stumbled across an awesome new band. The Axis of Awesome. They're a comedy rock band and they are SKILLED. They do a 5 minute song using 4 chords, and within that time, they sing 38 pop/rock hits from the past 40 years. USING. 4. CHORDS!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I

I love life.

Today was the first official day of something very special. There's a girl I've liked all year, and she and I are now going out. I feel really good, but kinda sad that I was unknowingly mean to another friend of mine, Bella. She was going to ask me out today, so.. Is this group of events good or bad?

I choose chocolate milk.

My Rice Baby Week

Here I shall post the best of "My Parental Diary", something involving the classic rice baby assignment, take care of it for a week, etc.

Day 1-
I have bad memories of this project. At the time (last year), it was flour, not rice, but that doesn't change that I got a baby RIPPED OPEN AND DUMPED ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 2-
Carrying around both my binder and lil' Nibbler (at this point still lil' sacky) is hard.
Day 3-
I'm not ready to be a parent at all, OK?? You win, Mrs. Stevens!! I can' carry around lil' Nibbler around without getting a little mad at it. Although she sure sleeps a lot, lil' Nibbler sure is adorable. And high-maintenance.
Day 4-
Day 4's entry sucked. No examples needed.
Day 5- 10 rules of taking care of a child
1.Keep it with you.
2.Do NOT not change it's diapers, or you'll be swimming in a fecal matter..
3.Don't dropkick it across the room.
4.Make sure you don't jostle it too much.
5.Resist urge to stop writing list of 10 rules.
6.Feed it good stuff. You know, the.. non-formula stuff...
7.Do NOT verbally abuse it (you little@$$%^*&*%^#@!!!).
8.Protect it from Baby Assassins.
9.Don't be sad if its not the gender you wanted.
10.Try to have fun and love it.
Day 6-
Boring entry.
Day 7-
Ditto day 6.

All in all, I hate that assignment.

D&D

I play D&D once a week, on Sundays. I play a dragonborn (a little dragon, a little human) fighter, and my party's leader is a human bard, and as we were fighting giant constructs (mechanical beings imbued with great power), our bardic leader notices the gem on thier chest. So he yells to me,

"AIM FOR THE JEWELS!!!"

I, in turn, attempt to cleave the construct's crotch. Ouch.

But, however, this does almost nothing, but knocks it down, and standing up kills it due to my pal's power. This led my character to believe that the actually did something. Later that day, out of the game, my group and I set off on a dungeon-crawling adventure to Fred Meyers! Clad in a red leather hat and cloak, I casually walked in. No one at all gave me a funny look. I looked like
THIS GUY <---Red Mage, Final Fantasy series
So now I know that I can do that in public. I will now go do something really random and odd. Like watch Nannerpuss (Denny's super bowl commercial LOL)
Go look it up.
You'll laugh.

Duhn da-da!! Spirit week!!

This week was spirit week at school. I made pitiful excuses on 80's day and food day (I wore my casual clothes both days). But on Wednesday, Superhero day, I became (within 3 minutes of last-minute costume cram time).. PANTSMAN!! Credit to Scott Ramsoonair of VG Cats fame! I got my picture taken, and I felt proud, and it was cool. Today, Thursday, was Twilight vs Harry Potter. The wizards OWNED the vampires. There were about 10 people in total who dressed up as Twilight characters. Me? I was the snitch. I dressed in all black and my snitch hat got stolen about once every five minutes. It was the single most annoying thing in the world.

But part of why I'm blogging today is to drown my sorrows and my destructive anger.

I did an audition for the Master Class drama at my school, and the day after, my teacher Mr. Beckett tells me I didn't do so hot.

I'd do almost ANYTHING to get into that class. I'd give up my bed and blankets. I'd do whatever it takes to be good at what I love. Because if I don't get into the class, I'd hate myself all year. But I will get in. I'll work twice, three times as hard as everyone else to keep up.

I'd do whatever it takes. I'm willing to sacrifice hours of my time to be better. I will be in the Master Class. Never will I EVER hear Mr. Beckett say no. That word is the bane of my existence. I will. I will.

I wished upon a star, and my life now is a lie

One time, I wished upon a star. The next day, my wish did NOT come true. What am I supposed to believe in now? Chocolate milk? Gin rummy? Ouja board games? Ooh, Ouja board games.. gotta remember that.Monopoly. Oujaized. That's my life in a nutshell. But the thing i wished for so long ago (AKA 7 days ago) was to be more naturally funny. Like Jim Gaffigan.

Hot pockets!

But, alas, the only thing I can do is sit in front of my computer for hours on end, looking at Fail Blog and YouTube. If my 13-year long life has come to this, I don't want to know what I'll be like in college. Probably drunk on non-alcoholic beer.

Sad, sad days.
Every time I wish upon a star, I always say to myself "I'll never do that again" a day later. Yet every time I see the first star, I can't help but wish on it.

O Chocolate milk, help me in my times of need. *chug*

The Othello Rap

This is by the Reduced Shakespeare Company. Note- in the 16th century, the word Moor referred to a black person. Ouch.

Here's the story of a brother by the name of Othello.
He liked white women and he liked green Jell-O.
And a punk named Iago who made himself a menace
Because he didn't like Othello, the Moor of Venice.
Now Othello got married to Desdemona.
But he went off to the wars and he left her alona.
It was a mona--
A groana--
He left her alona.
He didn't write a letter and didn't telefona.
Desdemona she was fearful, she was chastity-tight.
She was the daughter of the Duke. Yeah, she was totally white.
Now Othello loved Desi like Adonis loved Venus.
And Desi loved Othello --
'Cuz he had a big sword.
So Iago said, I'm gonna shaft the Moor.
How're you gonna do it? Tell us.
Well, I know his tragic flaw: He's too dang jealous.
I need a dupe, I need a dope, I need a kind of a schmo.
So he found himself a chump sucker by the name of Cassio.
So he plants on him Desdemona's handkerchiefs.
So Othello starts to wondering just maybe if
while he's been out fighting, Commanding an army.
were Desi and Cass playing hide the salami?!
S-s-s-s sa-la, Salami!
So he comes back home and stuck a pillow on her face.
Kills her and soliloquizes 'bout his disgrace.
But there's Amelia at the door who we met in Act 4.
Who says, "You big dummy. She weren't no ho."
She was pure, she was clean, she was virginal too.
So why'd you have to go and make her face turn blue?
It's true!
It's you!
Now what you gonna do?
And Othello says, Dang, this is getting pretty scary.
So he pulled out a blade and committed hara-kiri.
Do that funky Moor thing, white boy.
Iago got caught but he probably copped a plea.
Loaded up his bags
And looked up Beverly.
Hills, that is.

Rain can sometimes bring out the funniest in people.

Today it rained. Not too unusual for Portland, Oregon. But this rain had like, funny cemichals in it that made everyone crazy. I ran around shirtless for about 30 seconds, but then the big one happened. On a dare and a promise of $50, my buddy Isreal ran around with his pants around his ankles. The single funniest thing I have ever seen. However, as we were congratulating him, a teacher came and sent him to the office. He was later suspended. This day, May 18, 2010, will be remembered forever. Isreal is gonna have major street cred.
-Owen

News, news, news. All that jazz.

OH. MY. GAWD. Yesterday, I discovered that the 5th generation of Pokemon have been leaked, and now there's 5 more new pocket monsters to deal with. I like the series, it's fun to play. But what really chaps my hide is the spinoff games. Mystery Dungeon? Pass. Puzzle? I like Tetris and pinball just fine WITHOUT the annoying creatures popping out everywhere. But anyway, back to the news. The games are going to be called Pokemon Black and Pokemon White in Japan, but that might have to change due to racial issues. We don't want people seeing the game and going, "Those Rascist Bastards!!" and sue gamefreak. That would suck because then we'd lose Mario or something. Then again, that wouldn't be too bad. I hate that stocky plumber. But, back to the tellings. The starters are pretty cool, considerably less sucky than the fourth generation starters. But one of them's a pig. I'd name it bacon or hamlet, just to piss off pig lovers everywhere. But the other two are cool. A sea otter and a grass snake (with arms and legs FTW). Not bad, gamefreak.

The Rant, get ready

Hello. You are about to enter Vanilla's Room. If you don't like random rants and such, get the heck off my blog. So yeah.. This is just... A view on my life and loves. Let's just put it that way, shall we?
Anywho, I've been really exited about the end of my school year. Yes, I'm in 7th grade, and I'm proud of it. But life is hard, for the few, the proud, the Dungeons and Dragons Nerds. Even though we're everywhere in my school, I seem to be the one who gets the brunt of all of the teasing. The coolest kid in my class (also the biggest arsehole) plays D&D, and he gets NO CRAP WHATSOEVER. What does he have that I don't? He has... A girlfriend (and a hot one at that. She deserves better), a loyal follower (for privacy reasons, let's call him Goyle) and that's about it. I do outclass him in one thing, though. And that thing is... I don't know. I cant think of a way that I'm better than him. I guess he wins this one. One day, though. I will humiliate his shiny boxered arse and redeem myself.